How to cope with flashbacks of your birth experience: 5 strategies for finding peace in the present

“I was rocking my baby to sleep when it hit me – the smell of the baby lotion, the quiet creak of the chair. Suddenly, I wasn’t in the nursery anymore. I was back in the delivery room, hearing the voices of medical staff and feeling the helplessness wash over me. My heart raced, my breathing quickened, and I couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling that I was reliving it all over again.”

If you’ve experienced a flashback like this, you’re not alone. This is something we hear time and again from the courageous individuals we work with in counselling.

Flashbacks, whether they’re vivid visual memories or more subtle emotional and somatic responses, can make it feel as though your trauma is happening all over again. It can be terrifying, disorienting, and deeply unsettling.

Flashbacks are a common response to trauma. They occur when the body and mind, still holding onto the unresolved memories of a traumatic experience, are triggered by something in the present. For those who have experienced birth trauma, flashbacks can be prompted by anything – sounds, smells, certain phrases, or even the touch of a partner or child.

The good news is that flashbacks, while distressing, are a sign that your body is trying to process what happened. And with the right tools and strategies, you can begin to find a sense of safety and grounding in the present moment.

Here are five strategies to help you cope with flashbacks and reconnect with peace in the here and now

1. Learn to recognise when you’re having a flashback

Flashbacks aren’t always obvious. While some people experience vivid visual memories that feel like they’re re-living the trauma, others might notice a sudden wave of emotions, like panic, shame, or anger. Or you may feel physical sensations – a racing heart, tight chest, or nausea – that seem to come out of nowhere.

Understanding that these responses are part of a flashback can help you feel less afraid of them. Remind yourself: This is a memory from the past; it’s not happening to me right now.

2. Ground yourself in the present

When a flashback pulls you into the past, grounding techniques can help you reconnect with the present moment. These techniques anchor you in the here and now, reminding your body and mind that you’re safe.

Here are some grounding exercises you can try:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise gently draws your attention back to your current physical environment.
• Deep Breathing: Focus on slowing your breath. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, signalling to your body that it’s okay to relax.
• Physical Touch: Engage your senses by holding something comforting, like a soft blanket or a smooth stone. Press your feet firmly into the ground to remind yourself that you’re rooted in the present.

Grounding isn’t about pushing the flashback away; it’s about creating space to remind yourself that you are safe and no longer in that moment of trauma.

3. Create a safe space ritual

For some, flashbacks can feel so overwhelming that they need a dedicated practice to find emotional safety. Having a ritual or routine that calms and centres you can be incredibly empowering.

This might look like stepping into a particular room or corner of your home where you feel safe. Light a candle, play soothing music, or hold an object that brings you comfort. Let this space become a sanctuary where you can reconnect with peace.

If your flashbacks happen frequently in certain environments, you can also create mini routines for grounding, such as stepping outside for fresh air or placing your hand on your heart and repeating a calming phrase, such as “This is a memory from the past; it’s not happening to me right now. Right now I am somewhere safe and I can take space to let my nervous system settle”.

4. Work with your body

Flashbacks aren’t just “in your head.” Trauma lives in the body, and it’s common to experience somatic flashbacks – bodily sensations like tightness, trembling, or an overwhelming sense of unease that don’t seem to have a clear cause.

When your body feels activated, it can help to bring gentle movement and awareness to it:

• Somatic Practices: Try gentle stretches, yoga, or shaking out your hands and feet to release tension. Somatic techniques help your body process stored trauma by moving through the energy of the memory.
• Body Scans: Lie down and focus on each part of your body from your feet up to your head, noticing any areas of tightness or discomfort. Acknowledge these sensations without judgment and focus on releasing them through slow, intentional breathing.
• Touch: Place a hand on your heart or stomach and notice the warmth of your palm. You can also try a “butterfly hug” by crossing your arms over your chest and tapping each shoulder alternately. This gentle self-soothing technique can help regulate your nervous system.

5. Seek support

You don’t have to navigate flashbacks on your own. Reaching out for support, whether that’s from a trusted partner, friend, or therapist, can help you feel less isolated. However, it’s okay if talking about the trauma feels too overwhelming right now. You might start by saying, ‘I’ve been having memories of my birth experience, and I just need someone to sit with me while I figure out what I need’.

Working with a trauma-informed therapist can be particularly helpful for flashbacks. They can help you understand your triggers, build a personalised toolbox of grounding strategies, and work through the deeper layers of the trauma in a safe and supportive environment.

A gentle reminder… Healing after birth trauma is a process

Coping with flashbacks is not about “getting over” the trauma or forcing yourself to move on. It’s about taking small, compassionate steps toward feeling safer in your body and your daily life.

Healing from birth trauma is possible, but it takes time. If flashbacks feel like they’re holding you captive, know that they’re a sign your body is seeking resolution, not a sign of weakness. You are not broken. With the right tools, support, and patience, you can find peace in the present and begin to reclaim your sense of safety and joy.

If you’re ready to take that next step, working with a trauma-informed counsellor can help. We’re here to support you through this journey, offering a safe space to process your experiences and begin to heal.

You don’t have to face this alone. Reach out when you’re ready.

Fiona